The Return to Normal?
So... it's been awhile since I last wrote a blog post. These last 9 months since returning to the U.S. after living in France for over a year have been quite an adventure. Internship and life in Marseille was life-changing, incredibly challenging, amazingly beautiful, full of joys, failures, and the list goes on.
During the last few months I was living in Marseille, I would occasionally think about what re-entry would be like. I didn't foresee it being very difficult for me. It hits people in different ways. About a month or so after getting back, I dealt with a lot of disillusionment with daily life. I literally felt like the monotony of life was KILLING me. (Yes, it was that dramatic in my mind). That phase passed after a few weeks and I felt like I was getting used to college life again. I really enjoyed the last few months with all of my classmates and getting to hear about all the amazing experiences everyone had on internship!
There have been several things related to re-entry "shock" or "stress" (whatever you want to call it) that I've been working through since getting back...
I changed SOOOOOO much during internship. I'm still realizing the extent of that change. I changed, I'm still Claire, but I'm different than I was before. I think differently. I feel differently. I react differently. There were a few changes that happened here while I was gone (both at school and at home), but it feels pretty much the same. It's been quite hard to adjust back into something familiar, especially in the first few months after getting back. I felt a bit displaced. I just wanted to be like I used to be, instead of having to re-learn how to operate in these environments.
Related to that has been the challenge of trying to figure out who I am. This has probably been the most difficult part of re-entry for me. There were quite a few things related to my personality that I had identified or labeled myself before going on internship. For example, I definitely thought of myself as an introvert. Now, it's hard for me to be by myself for too long. I LOVE people. It's not that I didn't before, but I love being around people a lot more now. Another thing is trying to figure out what my passions are. Someone recently asked me, "What are you passionate about?". I didn't have an answer. I do have things that I'm passionate about, I'm just unsure what my most prominent passions are now. My identity has been shaken a bit.
So, there you go... some of my thoughts about returning to normal, which isn't a possibility. So, here's to a new normal. I'm looking forward to where the Lord brings me on this crazy journey called life...
During the last few months I was living in Marseille, I would occasionally think about what re-entry would be like. I didn't foresee it being very difficult for me. It hits people in different ways. About a month or so after getting back, I dealt with a lot of disillusionment with daily life. I literally felt like the monotony of life was KILLING me. (Yes, it was that dramatic in my mind). That phase passed after a few weeks and I felt like I was getting used to college life again. I really enjoyed the last few months with all of my classmates and getting to hear about all the amazing experiences everyone had on internship!
There have been several things related to re-entry "shock" or "stress" (whatever you want to call it) that I've been working through since getting back...
I changed SOOOOOO much during internship. I'm still realizing the extent of that change. I changed, I'm still Claire, but I'm different than I was before. I think differently. I feel differently. I react differently. There were a few changes that happened here while I was gone (both at school and at home), but it feels pretty much the same. It's been quite hard to adjust back into something familiar, especially in the first few months after getting back. I felt a bit displaced. I just wanted to be like I used to be, instead of having to re-learn how to operate in these environments.
Related to that has been the challenge of trying to figure out who I am. This has probably been the most difficult part of re-entry for me. There were quite a few things related to my personality that I had identified or labeled myself before going on internship. For example, I definitely thought of myself as an introvert. Now, it's hard for me to be by myself for too long. I LOVE people. It's not that I didn't before, but I love being around people a lot more now. Another thing is trying to figure out what my passions are. Someone recently asked me, "What are you passionate about?". I didn't have an answer. I do have things that I'm passionate about, I'm just unsure what my most prominent passions are now. My identity has been shaken a bit.
So, there you go... some of my thoughts about returning to normal, which isn't a possibility. So, here's to a new normal. I'm looking forward to where the Lord brings me on this crazy journey called life...
Comments
Post a Comment